That Boy

"Set me free, leave me be. I don't wanna fall another moment into you gravity."

~Sara Bareilles

This is the kid that I can't get out of my head. He's tall, handsome and I can't stop thinking about him. Everything about him I hate.. He's just a BOY. He's pathetic, he can't seem to get off of this girl who can't even seem to treat him right, he is so stubborn, he's persistant. So if he is everything I hate, why would I give everything to be with him, right now?

I'm just going to lay it all out there. Like this is an AA meeting or something of that kind. I've been shoving this feeling inside of me for months. MONTHS. I am stuck on him. The fact that I can't go a single day without thinking about him or his well being is agonizing. And I'm searching, struggling, grasping at thin air trying to figure out why the hell I'm stuck on him.

I mean for example. I could go around ranting how I hate this kid, won't ever talk to him again and then he comes out of know where with that STUPID goofy smile and slides his arms around me and there. I'm where I want to be, no matter how much I just want to knock his lights out.

I could cry writing this, literally. I have already once tonight, I feel like, to simply put it, a pathetic counter-part of him. And that's not cute.

Can I shake this? Should I even try? I have so much more to want and live for than to run around trying for this kid's affections. I'm not some Disney Princess. I want to be free of this. So please set me free..