5 Ways to Get Me to Love You

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Treat me like a princess. This whole "I'm such a bad ass, please pay me more attention while I sit and treat you like you're not important to me" stuff that people do nowadays is not CUTE.

Treat me equally. Just because I'm the girl in the relationship does not mean that all of a sudden you're dominate and you can tell me what to do or boss me around. I'm not a child, and I don't enjoy that. I do enjoy being assertive, but there is a difference!

Listen to me. I mean really listen to me, remember what I say, and don't get pissed when I get agitated when I figure out you weren't listening. I'm always going to listen to you, so that's what I ask of you.

Be chivalrous. While most believe chivalry is dead, I just like to think of it as a rare and forgotten art. But that's what it takes for me. I don't care who you are, you are not too tough to open a freaking door for me. So shallow your pride, and do it. It makes me feel special, and you're more likely to get more of a reaction and more out of me than if you are just that ordinary date.

Love me for me. Don't compare me to other girls. Call me beautiful, even when I'm looking or acting like a troll. I have my moments, everyone does. But if you find yourself going "Well, my ex Shelia didn't do that," we are going to have a problem. I'm me. If you want me, acknowledge that. I'm done trying to be that girl everyone wants me to me, so it would mean the world if you just supported me for me.

And that should do it. If you are all of the above (looks don't REALLY matter, but it wouldn't hurt if I drooled over you from time to time), then I should just go weak in the knees. I'm not too demanding. I'm not high maintenance. I am just looking for those five little things, and we are set.

Late Nights and Facebook Prayers

"This is the time when I do my most thinking. I'm awake, but I don't want to speak. I am alert, but I just want to sleep. And all the while, I feel like I am sinking."

            I'm listening to All Time Low tonight, because that band makes me so incredibly happy. The lyrics of some of their songs are shallow, as to be expected with an alternative band. They have to play into the people who couldn't care less if they disbanded or broke up. But the songs that make you feel something, that make you think, and care, and breathe with a little less ease; those are the songs I live for. They catch the mood of me tonight brilliantly. I'm listening to Lullabies; it's a song originally about the death of the lead singer, Alex Gaskarth's, brother. I'm not taking it literally, as no one has died in my immediate family, or even in my friend base. It's more of a symbolic type of thing. Relationships that I wish I could say I still held close to my heart have simply died. I find it hard to think about these people, to converse with them, to even look them in their eyes.

I'm young. Aren't my relationships supposed to prosper and be healthy and bouncy and wha-la! Perfection! I can't even pass someone on the street driving without feeling like someone shoved a knife into my heart. But hell, how am I suppose to really know what it all means? I am young. Maybe it was something I missed. Maybe perphaps I was too overbearing. I shouldn't even say relationships. It's one. And when I say relationship, I do not mean "Oh we dated, and fell off." No, I mean, friends. And if someone is a true friend, they stay until the bitter end, I suppose. Doesn't keep the sting away.

It's less than a week away from Christmas. Somehow, I don't really feel the spirit of Christmas around. As I get older, I can see more and more the STRESS of Christmas, and not the pure jolly joy it's supposed to bring. My best friend and I keep talking each other down from our own cliffs, no one I know is financially stable enough to be happy around this time, and everyone is falling apart. I'm leading a prayer on Facebook, asking God for money to just pick up and get the hell out of here. We can't really be happy. It doesn't look like anyone is. Merry Christmas?

However bad it may seem though, I have clothes on my back, breath in my lungs, and a mind of my own. I'm surviving because of the fact I don't need anyone. I don't need anyone to survive. And I am a survivor because frankly, there is no other option.

~AGM

Laying It All Out

        That's me. I'm black and white. I'm 18. My eyes are hazel and if you can't tell, that front left tooth is fake. I have weird dimples. My hair is artifically colored (It has a blond streak in it now, and is a little bit lighter than that actual picture). I think I look like an absolute troll without makeup. I could stand to lose about 1000 or so pounds. I stand at an average 5'7", but guys nowadays must have some kind of growing defect because they are all 5'6" and under. I wear black a lot. I have 6 ear piercings (4 on one side and 2 on the other) and a tattoo around my ankle and down to my foot.

There. Its all put out there. So no questions about the girl behind the computer screen, I'm putting it all out there. Although some like the mystery that goes with the internet, I think its misleading bullcrap. This is me, this is my mind, and you as the reader should be informed of what I look like. Now that all of that lovely information is out there, I'll tell you a bit about myself which can be found under the About Me section if you don't want to read the more detailed version.

I'm growing. I am the best person to be friends with and the worst person to be enemies with. I say what I mean, and I don't beat around the bush. Believe me, I've tried that before and you know where it left me? Confused on why things just weren't going my way. Now that may make me a Queen B, but nowadays I find myself with that "I couldn't really give two chicken turds about that" kind of attitude. I'm nice. I care about human beings, even if most of them are just impossible to hold conversations with. I like the theatre, but I personally don't enjoy the dramatic divas that go with it, so I'm not going to spend the rest of my life doing it. I am dramatic though, and I'll probably overexaggerate a thousand times before this one entry is done. I have a dry sense of humor that some people might not like; that's okay, I don't care much. Meeting new people in person gives me crazy anxiety. I like having friends. I'm awkward in awkward situations. I like to sing. I can count to 19 in Spanish. I get random the more tired I get.

Relationships don't work for me. Usually by circumstance, they simply do not work out. I'm okay with that. Love is a touchy subject because I believe it exists but I do not believe that I can obtain and keep it. Its complicated and I don't like complicated bull. Music makes me happy. I quote it frequently. I think too much, and laugh like a mentally challenged guiena pig. I'm waiting for my life to take off, but currently I'm stuck in this opressing town as a college kid trying to chase her dreams.

And that's me. I supposed I missed a few details, but I'm here. This blog is an outlet, and I'll use it how I see fit. Read at your own discretion.

~AGM